Quick pimp for you all ; some of my friends have got together and released a volume of poetry. I’ll let them sell it:

YOU WANT THIS MORE THAN YOU WANT AIR. It is a book of poetry by apiphile, myselftheliar and alkennedy.

THAT’S RIGHT.

IT’S A BOOK.

A BOOK OF POETRY.

THAT YOU CAN HOLD IN YOUR HANDS.

AND BE ALL HEY, I KNOW THESE PEOPLE.

What is even better than that?

It has a Facebook page, which means that even if you’re too poor to buy yourself a book of AMAZING POETRY, and your friends and family just don’t understand that buying a book of AMAZING POETRY for you will make your life COMPLETE… you can still suggest the page to everyone you’ve ever spoken to. A few clicks and POW, you will have annoyed, baffled, and ultimately enriched the lives of all the people you know on Facebook.

Hate someone?

Buy them our book.

What better way to say “I hate you” than with some of Amy Kreines vitriol-laden diss-poems?

Love someone?

Buy them our book.

In this book you will find as many different kinds of love poem as there are stars reflected in the eyes of the beautiful person you love. What better way to lavish affection on someone, be they your newly-born daughter or the guy you’ve loved all your life, than with a collection of funny, heart-warming, and intelligent poetry?

Don’t know someone?

Buy them our book

Giving a book of poetry to a stranger is a quirky and unique ice-breaker.

Can’t read?

BUY OUR BOOK.

Look, I’m not going to judge. Some people don’t like poetry. That’s okay! This has a really nice cover and it’s pretty much the right size for a mouse mat! Also the paper’s good for scribbling on, and there’s space in the margins for doodling crap. You’ll look well intelligent with a poetry book in your bag, and seriously, people dig that sensitive shit.

HURR DURR DERP DERP?

BUY OUR BOOK.

IT WILL IMPROVE YOUR LIFE.

See? Told you they could sell it better. Guess that’s what comes of being poets. Read poetry! Be a better writer!